Monday, December 06, 2004

A Permanent Majority of Visigoths

So Newsweek thinks they know what Karl Rove's secret plan is. Apparently it has something to do with creating a "permanent majority," whatever that means. (Sounds a little spooky to me--in order to create a "permanent majority," you'd need to come up with a "final solution," don't you think?)

Anyway, Newsweek hasn't got a clue. Senior investigative journalists in The Sneaky Rabbit's newsroom have uncovered Rove's true plan, which involves completely getting rid of the federal tax code. How will they pay for a federal government without taxes?

One word: plunder.

Why not? It worked for the Vikings. Simply raid and pillage whichever other countries still have cash. Sounds crazy, I know, but it ties in neatly with Bush's secret plan to replace his Treasury Secretary with those hordes of irritating Visigoths from the CapitalOne commercials (first reported right here at The Sneaky Rabbit.) Next time you see Karl on TV, think, "Yaaaaarrr." It makes sense, right?

In a related development, radio behemoth Clear Channel will shortly begin broadcasting content from toilet behemoth Fox News.